


The Verse

by Dark_Queen (orphan_account)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Big surprise, Except for mary, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Castiel, Hurt Dean Winchester, I'm Sorry, Jo is alive, M/M, Mentions of Cancer, Original Songs, Song writing, True Love, but shh shes not relevant to this story sort of, cas is a sappy mofo, everyones alive, happy birthday dean, happy ending (but the ending isnt for a very looong time)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-14
Updated: 2017-01-14
Packaged: 2018-09-17 12:07:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 19,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9322916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Dark_Queen
Summary: Dean Winchester didn't have long left. He was dying, and he didn't know how he was going to tell Cas. God, Cas... his beautiful boyfriend, his everything, his future....But Dean knew he couldn't keep Cas away from his future as a songwriter and singer, his boyfriend had the voice of an angel.Before he goes on this journey of pain and despair, Cas has a surprise planned for Deans birthday, and a big one it is.





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! This is my first Destiel fic, its a work in progress but i hope yall like it! Enjoy!

"Uh, thank you very much doctor. We'll ,uh, be back." He tried to smile again, but the doctor saw his eyes still shining with unshed tears. He nodded and the man said his farewell. The doctor walked off, filled with grief for a man he didn't know, readying himself to see his new patient.

* * *

 

Dean stared ahead as Sam drove the '67 Black Chevy Impala across the deserted road. He felt numb. When the doctor first told him he had cancer, Dean felt emotions he hadn't felt in years. Fear, helplessness, hopelessness. A million thoughts had ran through his mind but one had rung louder than the rest.

_What will I tell Cas?_

His mind went to Cas for the fifth time since they left. God, how he's going to miss his amazing blue eyes; how they glinted and shined when he smiled, how they crinkled at the edges when he laughed. He was going to miss his adorable lack of humor, how he took everything almost too seriously. He was going to miss the way his raven black hair stuck up everywhere, always looking as if someone just ran their hands through it (and the hands always belonged to Dean). Dean smiled at that thought. He was going to miss how Cas never seemed to understand his references and how his face scrunched up in cute concentration, trying to understand (though he would never admit to calling him cute or adorable).He was going to miss the feel of his pink, chapped lips on his, how they seemed to move so perfectly in sync with Dean's.

_Cas and his huge baby blues that just shine when they look at me._

_Cas and his stupid tanned trench and blue tie that he never seems to take off._

_Cas, my fucking amazing boyfriend of 6 years._

_Cas, the most perfect man I have ever met._

_Cas, my adorable kitten, who loves to cuddle and is just so goddamn adorable at everything he does (although no one can ever know I think of him as adorable). Cas, my angel, who has always been there for me._

_Cas, the man who the silver ring sitting in Sam's closet was for._

_Cas, the amazing person I was going to propose to on his birthday, just two weeks away._

Dean grew somber at the thought. He had been planning to propose to Cas next week, and had even gotten Cas a pure silver band with the words _I need you_  was carved into the inside. Those had been the words that Dean had spoken four years ago, when Cas was about to commit suicide. Dean had said these words to him, tears running down his face, and Cas had looked up at him with tear filled eyes, dropping the blade and running into his arms. This had been their phrase since then, reminding the other of how much they really needed them, chaining them to the world.

_WHY NOW? WHY NOW WHEN I WAS SO CLOSE TO FINALLY BEING. HAPPY ?! HAVEN'T I SUFFERED ENOUGH? Haven't I?_

Dean was tired. Tired of something always going wrong in his life. Tired of never getting to be happy.

Except... when he was with Cas, Dean was happy. Dean was so happy. When he held his angel in his arms, he was happy. When Cas wrapped his arms and legs around Dean like an octopus when sleeping, he was happy. Every time Cas'  lips met Dean's, he was actually happy.

At the thought, his mind recalled every kiss they've had so far. Dean smiled fondly at the different kinds of kisses they've shared.

The happy, slow ones that happen whenever they're just lounging around.

The sleepy, small ones filled with affection that they share before falling asleep in each other's arms.

The fast, quick ones when they're hurried, reminding each other words that can't be spoken at the moment, but that they know so well.

The long, deep, heated kisses that always end up with both of them ripping their clothes off.

The sweet, short ones whenever they're in public, holding hands and showing each other off, not a care in the world.

The adorable, surprise kisses Cas always loves to give him, saying, " _I just love you so much.",_ as an explanation, a small blush and a gleam in his bright blue eyes.

The sloppy, messy ones Dean gives back telling him , _"And I love you just as much.",_ meaning every word, a huge dopey smile on his face as he holds his angel in his arms.

_How am I going to tell him?_

The thought brought Dean back to reality, making his smile disappear, no trace it was ever there.

_I can't tell him. It would only hurt him._

_Well, I can't just get up and walk away!_

_Unless I do. What if I just leave, disappear?_

_Idiot! I can't leave Cas, my angel. I can't leave him. I wouldn't be able to live without him._

_But all you'll do is hurt him. All your stay would do is make him cry whenever he sees you, knowing you can't have a future together._

_..._

The war in his head added a voice he hasn't heard in years. John Winchester's voice echoed in his head. Years ago, his high school therapist had told him why his father's voice was in his head after John died. She had told him that the voice was aftermath of John's drunken abuse of Dean as a kid, his mind never really letting go of the things his father had told him. Dean had managed to kick the voice and it's terrible thoughts away for sometime, but now they were back in full force.

_You need to leave Dean. As soon as possible. Leave Cas and drive away, far away from him. Give him a chance to live without you giving him pain. As if you're even worth the tears he would shed. Don't kid yourself kid, you're not doing anyone any favors staying here and being a lousy person, so go. Pack your bags and leave._

_Don't let him know you're leaving. Cas will only try to stop you, but he doesn't understand your worthlessness. At least not yet._

Dean gulped as he listened to his father's voice, believing every word. The voice was right and Dean knew that he couldn't put Cas through all of this. He can't be the reason for Cas's pain.

He would pack his bags and drive off in the Impala, not daring to look back. Now it was only a matter of when. He would leave everything and everyone he ever knew behind.

He would leave Cas.

  


	2. Castiel

Castiel was sitting on the couch of his house watching cartoons when his phone rang.

_Well, I guess now its not just my house anymore._

He smiled to himself, remembering when Dean had moved in with him a few months ago. Dean moved out of the house he shared with his bother Sam, the giant energetic puppy, and into Cas's. It was one of Cas's happiest memories.

How it took them a whole week because they couldn't keep their hands off each other. How they spent the week stealing glances at each other as they moved boxes into his house.

One thing that stood out to Cas while they were moving, was the incredible amount of flannel shirts Dean owned. That man could open a damn store! Dean had assured him Sam owned ten times what he had.

_Who even owns that much flannel? I don't understand their need for it._

He shook his head as his phone rang again, snapping him out of his thoughts. The ringtone played loud and clear, telling him exactly who it was, and he wasn't too keen on picking up _. I Want Candy_ blasted out of the speakers as he went unwillingly to pick up the phone.

"What do you want Gabriel?" He said into the receiver of his Galaxy Note 4, a present from the caller when he and Dean had finished moving in.

"Hey baby bro! How are ya doin' Cassie?" The voice of his annoying brother Gabriel blasted from the phone.

"I am very well Gabriel. What's going on?" Cas looked around the room, trying to figure out why his brother would be calling him. Gabriel was more of a "surprise visit" than "phone call" kind of guy. He started getting worried.

_I bet he crashed his car while drunk and now he's calling me to pay off the repairs._

_Oh god, I bet he got arrested for public nudity again. Damn it Gabriel, this would be the fourth time!_

_Hmm, he's probably at the edge of his toilet because of all that damn candy he eats._

_Did his ex-girlfriend try to murder him in his sleep? I mean, after the first ten times, Kali should understand it's not going to happen. Gabriel might be annoying but he's smart and cautious._

_Did he anger a burly colored man with a dragon tattoo on his neck named Hugo again?_

_Crap, what if he finally contracted salmonella from eating all that raw cookie dough?_

_Did one of his stupid pranks get him on Canada's Most Wanted AGAIN?_

He stopped.

_Did something happen with tomorrow's plans?!_

He started to freak out.

"Did something happen with the plans for tomorrow?" He said worriedly into the receiver.

A warm, mischievous laugh floated across the line.

"Chill baby bro, everything is still perfect for the little get away you planned for your boyfriend."

Cas let out a relieved breath. Tomorrow was Dean's 24th birthday (and their 7 year anniversary) and Cas had an awesome, as Dean would say, day planned for them. He smiled a little.

Gabriel's voice came out playful and teasing.

"Cassie? Ya still there or are you daydreaming about the second part of the surprise. Back at home when you two are all alone, lost in a sea of blankets, kissi-"

"Gabe that is enough. I never planned such a thing you dirty assbutt." Cas said blushing a deep red. His brother had the dirtiest of minds.

"Suuure, Cas. Sure you didn't." Gabriel sounded extremely doubtful, but didn't press the matter. "Anyways, I was just calling to remind you of the family thing on Sunday. Ya know, the 'Novak Family Get-Together' we gotta go to over in San Diego. Get your ass out of LA Cassie and pack for two days!"

_Oh._

_Right_...

Cas had completely forgotten about it. His eyes widened as he listened to Gabe, knowing it had been 2 years since he last saw half of his family. Not to mention how his brothers Michael and Rafael had treated Castiel after he had come out at 16, around the time he started dating Dean. Everyone else had been pretty accepting but Michael and Raphael had called him names, disrespected him, treated him like trash, and eventually ignored him, like he wasn't their brother.

_"You faggot, you're not worthy of our dad's love. Someone like you doesn't deserve to be called a Novak."_

_"You stupid queer, thinking you're still part of this family. No one here can or ever will love someone like you."_

There are things you can't easily forget especially when it's from your own family.

 Cas let out a tired sigh. Here goes another year of being ignored by the two brothers you looked up to the most as a kid. He responded to his brother.

"Uh, yeah, the gathering. Totally remembered that Gabriel. It'll take me a few hours to get there, so I'll leave Saturday night yeah?"

"Yeah. Don't worry baby bro, you have three days to mentally prep yourself while I have three days to work up my muscles in case anyone," Cas knew exactly who 'anyone' was. "Tries anything with you there, ok?" Gabriel sounded genuinely sincere, and that made Cas smile a little. Gabriel was always so damn protective of him.

"Ok Gabriel. I'll see you on Sunday. Have a good day."

"K baby bro. See ya!!" The line went dead.

Today was Thursday. Three days to go.

Cas rubbed his eyes tiredly. He could do this... he had to. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter two! i know theyre a bit short, but i promise theyll get longer! Ive got a few more to upload up so hope you like! God i havent slept in days wooo


	3. Sam

Sam's head was swimming. He had no idea how to react to the news they were just told. He looked over to Dean and saw that there as a war going on in his head from the expression of absolute concentration.

_What are we going to do? How are we going to fix this?_

He looked back at his brother and he knew the war was over, for the most part. The way Dean's jaw was set, Sam knew it wasn't something good.

"Dean, we need to talk about this." Sam finally said after a few minutes tired silence.

Dean looked at Sam, his eyes glazed over as if still lost in his thoughts.

"Talk about what Sam." Sam looked over again to Dean, exasperated.

"You know exactly what Dean. You having cancer. What are we going to do about this? Are we just going to go about the rest of your life pretending you're not going to die?" Sam felt desperate. He knew they had to do something. He just didn't know _what._

"Sam, were not going to do this right now. All I want to do right now is go home and drink three bottles of my happy juice." Dean stated.

Sam sighed, knowing there was no changing his stubborn brother's mind now.

"Dean, you should stay a while at my place before heading home. We could catch up on some Game of Thrones." 

" I don't know Sammy, do you have any happy juice?"

"I've got beer."

"Say no more."

The rest of the drive to Sam's house was quiet, neither talking about the problem that was plaguing their heads.

When they arrived at Sam's house, Dean was out of the car in a flash, running straight for Sam's liquor room before disappearing into a room.

Sam got left behind, carrying all of his hunting equipment out into the house.

_And to think this month was just going to be a hunting one, relaxed and calm. Then Dean had to get himself shot in the leg with his own damn gun. Stupid Dean. Who the hell accidentally shoots himself in the leg?! And you would think that growing up with them would make him better with guns!_

To be honest, Sam was a little glad of the accident. If Dean hadn't accidentally shot himself, they never would've gone to the hospital. They never would've given Dean the check-up the doctors basically begged for. They never would've known about Dean's life ending in just one year.

_No, its not true, Dean wont die... will he?_

He walked into his garage and put away all of his equipment, his mind still reeling. When he went back into the house, it was dead quiet.

_Where the hell is Dean?_

He looked in the kitchen, the living room, and then he started to make his way to the bedrooms. As he walked closer to his room, he heard a quiet, almost inaudible whimper.

_...Dean?_

But it couldn't be. Dean Winchester, the manly man, the Mr. Bravo, did not cry. Ever. He quietly followed the muffled sound, making sure to not make any noise. When he got to the cold white of his door, he peeked in at the slightly open crack.

There, at the foot of Sam's bed, sat Dean. Tears streaming down his face, he was slumped on the ground, head tilted in a way that only meant he was in deep thought. Three empty beer bottles sat awkwardly next to him, scattered on the floor.

In his hands, there was a small black box. Sam focused on the object Dean was twirling around in his fingers, and when he finally saw what it was, he stopped cold.

_Shit... Cas..._

His brother held the engagement ring he had gotten for Cas. Dean had planned proposing to Cas in a week. He had everything set up, he had asked all of his family and close friends to be there, at the place Dean and Cas had their first kiss. At the dimly-lit Karaoke Bar only a handful of people knew about. They would've had an awesome date night, up until the moment Dean stood up and would walk towards the back room. He would come back, after telling everyone it was time, and silently rehearse his speech for Cas. Dean had spent days trying to finish the damn thing, saying sappy shit like, _"But Sam, how am I supposed to write what I feel, if there are no words to describe my love for him?"_ It drove Sam up the wall.

_What is he going to do now? God damn the world! My brother deserves to be happy! He has had more than enough torture and sadness in his damn life! WHY CAN'T HE JUST BE HAPPY?!_

Then everyone would step out of the curtains at the back of the stage and Cas would be taken from his chair up by a selected few to the front. Dean would step up in front of Cas, give his speech, then get down on one knee. Sam knew that Cas would day yes, but even he couldn't stop his brother from worrying.

And now, Dean won't have the chance to spend 'forever' with the one person that truly brought him happiness. He walked away from the door, sorrow puling at his face as he sat on his living room sofa.

He was going to give Dean some time to himself.

Around two hours later, the sun was beginning to set, and Dean finally walked out and sat next to Sam, not saying a word.

"Dean, please. We need to find you help. Please tell me you'll think about what I'm about to tell you, OK?" Sam's voice had come out as an almost-whisper, nerves and sorrow tightening his voice.

Dean just nodded grimly, turning his head towards Sam. Sam, seeing ad he actually had the attention of his brother, smiled a little.

" Okay then. So I've been doing some research on the best treatment hospitals, and I found that there is one that has the highest number of cured patients in Seattle. We shouldn't have to worry about paying, since Mom and Dad left you the college funds you never used. I mean, we have enough to pay five years at fucking Harvard, so we have enough for your treatment. So, uh, wh-what do say?" Sam had gotten less confident watching as his brother's face went from listening peacefully to slightly angry.

"Cool. Whatever. And Sam, I'm not going to that place. C'mon. I'm tired and in desperate need for sleep, so I'm gonna be on my way ok." Dean looked away, standing up and making his way through the kitchen to the front door.

_Well, I should've expected that. Stubborn jerk._

"Jerk." Sam said aloud, getting up to throw Dean his car keys. He stood by the door.

"Bitch!" Dean yelled back from outside where he was walking to the Imapala.

As Dean drove off the dimly lit road, all Sam could think of was:

_How is Dean going to tell Cas?_

Sam silently shut his front door.

They never did get to watch Game of Thrones. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uwu


	4. Dean

As Dean pulled into his drive way, he saw a only one small light turned on in the house.

_Cas and his god damn night reading._

He smiled at the thought of Cas sitting on their bed, a book in hand, those glasses that drove Dean insane sitting on the bridge of his slender nose.

_God help me, I have it bad. So god damn bad._

He turned the engine off and stepped out of the car. He went around to the spacious trunk and pulled out all of his hunting gear. As he unlocked the front door, he felt dizzy and even sicker than before.

He couldn't do this. He couldn't walk in there and act as if nothing happened today. As if he hasn't decided he was going to leave Cas for good. Bile rose in his throat at the mere thought of a life without Cas. It just wasn't possible.

He stepped inside and turned on the light to the living room. The black leather couch sat there looking at Dean as if it knew all of his secrets. He shivered and walked towards the hallway closet, ready to put his stuff away. He set down his gear and shut the door, making his way to the bedroom.

When he walked in the door, the first thing he saw was that Cas was not reading a book. Or in bed.

Castiel was sitting on his desk furiously typing away on his computer, his hair mused in ever direction, eyes a bit wild. He was in his usual tanned trench coat and blue tie.

_Its as if he didn't own any other clothes. Always with the coat, tie, and shirt._

He smiled and he walked over to the little desk in the corner of the room.

"Hey angel." He said as he bent down and planted a kiss on Cas's cheek.

He felt Cas smile and his head turned towards Dean.

"Hey Dean. How was the hunt? You two took quite a while today. I missed you." Cas said before getting up and wrapping his arms around Dean's neck, pulling him closer to Cas. Cas kissed Dean's check in a haste and tiny fashion.

Dean took advantage of their position to lower his head and touch his lips to Cas's warm, chapped ones. The kiss started out brief and cute, but soon hands were in each other hair, trying to pull one another closer than science would allow. Cas's teeth grazed over Dean's bottom lip before they pulled away, both gasping for air.

Dean smiled down at the flushed and messier-than-before angel he held in his arms. He laughed a little at Castiel's hair, how it was spiked up, black strands going in every direction possible.

Suddenly, a thought hit him as he stared into the bright blue eyes that stared back at him, full of love and adoration. 

_I can't leave him._

Dean bristled at the thought. He knew it was true. He couldn't leave Cas. Cas was the love of his life (he didn't care if he was having a chick-flick moment, this conversation was in his head, damn it!) and he made Dean happier than he has ever been. But just as fast as that thought came through, another voice filled his head.

_But you have to. You ignorant idiot, you can't make a person as amazing as Cas suffer because of you. He'll get over you in a week, then he'll be able to do what ever he wants._

Dean kissed Cas's lips once more, briefly, and untangled himself from Cas.

"Meh, it was pretty boring." Dean told Cas, remembering the question he had asked what felt like an eternity ago. He swiftly took off his shirt, getting ready for bed. "We took so long mostly because I almost broke my leg." Dean took off his jeans, replacing them with his cotton plaid (because is it ever anything else) pajama bottoms. As Cas heard the last of his comment, he lunged at Dean, trying to inspect for any other wounds, asking repeatedly if he was OK. "No! Cas- stop it! I'm completely fine- Cas I said I was fine! It was just a trip, its okay. Cas-hold up! See? All patched up."

Cas was deathly worried at the mention of Dean hurting himself and had tried to check on him, almost squealing as Dean showed him his gauze-wrapped calf. Dean's calf was still a bit puffy and pink, but he could walk normally and it barely even hurt anymore. Not that he would tell anyone it had hurt in the first place.

"Damn it Dean! You have to be more careful out there! You can't just go around hurting yourself! Just a few weeks ago, you shot yourself now look!" Cas's arms flailed as he talked, his face scrunched in worry. "You need to be careful Dean! I don't want you getting hurt. It hurts to see you hurt."

Dean was worried now. "Cas? You don't usually freak out like this when I get hurt on a hunt. What happened?" He walked towards Cas, who was now slumped on the edge of the bed. HE sighed. 

"Gabriel called. Guess what I have to do on Sunday? Novak Family Gathering, pfft. More like Two Days of Endless Torture." Cas muttered the last part, his head leaning on Dean's shoulder as he talked. Dean wrapped an arm around Cas's shoulder. 

"I have to go to San Diego on Saturday and spend two full days in a closed environment with my siblings." As Cas said siblings, Dean knew exact what the issues was. He started to get angry.

"You mean you have to spend two days with those dicks you have for brothers? Michael and Raphael? Those douche bags?!" Dean was on the verge of yelling as Cas sorrowfully nodded his head. "Nope. Cas you're not going. Not after last time, how you came home."

Dean remembered the last time Cas had been with his two brothers. He had come home with a black eye and tears streaming down his face, bruises all over his body.

"I'm sorry Dean, but I have to. I haven't seen the rest of my family in years! I really want to see how little Samandriel has grown up. My little Alfie." Cas smiled at the memory of his youngest brother, Samandriel.

Dean sighed. "Okay fine, Cas. But I swear if they touch even a single hair on your head-" Cas interrupted him.

"Yeah yeah, you'll "blow their frickin' brains out". You've told me. Gabriel has told me. Just calm down, I'll be alright." Cas smiled warmly at him, and Dean felt his insides melting.

"Alright then. Let's go to sleep then, I'm so damn tired and exhausted and I almost broke my leg today and-" His whining was cut off by the pillow as he sank his head down on the mattress.

Cas laughed. "I need to change. Be right back." Cas turned and walked to the bathroom outside their bedroom.

_Cas. Leaving for two days. The hell am I going to do without him here?_

Dean stiffened, remembering his plans. A gruff voice came through his head again.

_This is going to be your chance. You can leave and he won't notice until Tuesday. By then you'll be halfway to Seattle._

In Sam's house, he had decided that when he left, he would be going to Seattle. He would take the money his parents left for him and go. Pay for his treatment.

There. He had a plan. He would leave Sunday night packed with all of his things and drive to Seattle.

At that moment, Cas returned to the room in his silken pajamas. They climbed into bed and snuggled up to each other, both of them falling asleep within moments.


	5. Castiel

The next day, Cas woke up nice and early. 10 am. Its not his fault he's not a morning person, he just can't function at all before 9 am and usually just speaks in angry grunts and cranky eye rolls.

But today, today was different...

Today was Dean's 24th birthday and he had a very special day planned for today. He looked over at Dean, still snuggled up in the blankets. He face was slack, calm and dreamy, A big change from the usual bravado Dean's face showed. Cas reached over and moved a stand of dirty blonde hair from Dean's face.

_God, he looks adorable._

Cas laughed silently. If Dean ever caught him saying that, Cas wouldn't hear the end of it.

He gently got up, making sure to not wake Dean, and gathered his clothes for the day.

He changed into a crisp white dress shirt, a brand new blue striped tie (the sales associate had told him to take it because it made his eyes stand out, whatever that meant), his tanned trench coat that was for once clean, and a pair of black pants. He looked himself up and down the bathroom mirror and nodded. Yup. He looked okay. He never fixed his hair, mainly for two reasons. One, he has never liked it and was too lazy to fix it. He just didn't see the point in it. And two, Dean liked his messy hair. A lot.

He walked out of the bathroom after brushing his teeth and put his pajamas away. He went outside to the kitchen to prepare part one of The Big Birthday Day. He knew it was a horrible name, but he didn't know what else to call it.

_Big Birthday Surprise? Nah._

He took out all of the ingredients needed to make Dean's breakfast the best he's ever had. Why? Because he was going to have Cas's very special Cherry Pie and Gourmet Eggs and Sausage for breakfast. Along with a cup or two of coffee.

An hour and a half later, he was done and everything was set out on their glass table. Perfectly ready. There was a big plate of scrambled eggs in the middle of the table, the sausages were in a neat pile next to the eggs, cooked to perfection. Cas smiled. He decided to make chocolate chip pancakes last minute, just because Cas _really_ craved them, and there was a tall stack of them, looking delicious and steamy, in front of the eggs. A tall pitcher of orange juice sat behind everything and two glasses sat empty next to the equally empty plates.

Cas smiled, very happy with his cooking and strolled towards the bedroom. He opened the door slowly and saw that Dean was still asleep.

 _Lazy assbutt._ Cas thought affectionately.

He walked over to Dean's side of the bed and gently shook him.

"Dean. Wake up. C'mon." Cas poked him in the ribs. "Wake up Dean. We have a very tight schedule today."

Dean only grumbled something unintelligible and rolled on his belly, snuggling his head into the crook of his arm.

"Dean." Cas said with authority. "Get out of bed. Its your birthday and I have a very special day planned."

"Mmhmphh." Dean grumbled.

"Dean, come on. Don't make me use the puppy face." Cas had become an expert at the kicked-puppy-face. He did learn from the best though, Dean's own brother and Castiel's best friend, Sam.

"Cas, that won't work if not looking at you." Dean said lifting his head up a bit so Cas could understand him.

"I swear to God, Dean." Cas said exasperated. Right then, an idea came to mind.

"Hmm. I guess I'll just have to have breakfast with Meg today." Cas said with a knowing smirk. Meg was their next door neighbor that has been flirting with Cas ever since he moved in 3 years ago. She had a hopeless crush on him, and didn't care that he was in a committed relationship. She would twirl her curly brown hair around her fingers and lean against Cas whenever they were in close proximity. She would go far enough in her flirting that she would sometimes kiss Cas's cheek (there were some times where it landed on the corner of his lip, and yeah, Dean caught very single one of them).

And, oh, how it made Dean go crazy jealous. Whenever she was around, Dean would act extremely possessive of Cas. He would kiss him long and hard, hold Cas closer than usual, or grip his hips hard enough to leave marks. 

He turned towards their window when Dean lifted his head as fast as a bullet knowing if he looked at Dean, he would break out laughing and ruin his plan.

He risked a glance and surely enough Dean's face was contorted into an expression of jealousy and rage. Cas stifled a laugh.

"You wouldn't dare." Dean got out low and menacing, still on the bed. Cas stood up and walked to the window opening the curtains. He looked out and saw Meg's brown head working on her backyard; she was mowing her lawn.

Cas quickly opened the window and stuck his head out. He looked down at Meg and in his loudest voice, called out to her.

"Hey Meg! Wonderful day isn't it!" Cas bellowed with a small flirtatious smile.

Meg, who somehow heard through the sound of her mower, stopped and looked up to her neighbors house. A huge smile lit up her round face.

"Hey, wonderful day my unicorn!" She yelled back, turning her body to face Cas's house. She put her hands on her hips, smile still in place.

As soon as Meg said 'my unicorn'. Cas could practically hear Dean fuming. Meg loved her nickname for Cas and it made Dean go _insane_ with jealousy.

Cas smiled as he heard the springs of his bed move slowly.

"You know Meg, I was actually wondering if you-" Cas was cut off by a strong arm wrapping around his waist, pulling him sharply to Dean's side.

Now, a very half-naked Dean stood next to him, making it obvious to Meg that he was there too.

"Uh, yeah, hey Meg!" Dean yelled out to her, a smirk on his face.

As soon as Dean, a shirtless Dean, appeared next to Cas, Meg's smile disappeared.

"Ugh." She said to herself. "Oh! Hiyya Squirrel! How are you and Clarence doing?" She put her smile back on her face, knowing how much her nicknames bothered Dean.

_I swear, one of these days, she's going to make Dean hurt someone._

Cas smiled softly as he felt Dean stiffen at the nickname. Dean pulled Cas closer to his side.

"We're fine. Ya know, me and _Cas_ are fine. In fact," Dean went on, a smug smile on his face appearing. "Cas made me a very special birthday breakfast, huh angel? Just for me." Dean looked down at Cas, his hand wandering down his back.

Cas blushed and looked down at Meg, an irritated expression on her face, quickly covered by a fake smile.

"Uh, yeah. Just for him." Cas finally said. "Um, you know what, we actually have to go inside now, but it was great talking to you Meg! See you around!" Cas waved at Meg.

"Yeah. See you around my little unicorn!" Meg, waved back then turned to her mower, turning it back on. Her  light brown hair flowing as Cas looked at her.

Dean let out a breath before closing the window and turned towards Cas.

Cas was about to burst out laughing, but something made him keep his cool composure.

Until Dean fixed a menacing glare on him.

Cas let out the laugh he had been holding and almost fell back from laughing to hard. He looked up at Dean, his laughter diminishing, but one look at his angry pout and his laughter started all over again, tears running down his eyes.

"NOT funny, Cas." Dean said, his angry pout still on his face.

"Its-hil-hilarious-D-Dean!" Cas said in between laughing fits. When he finally regained his composure, he straightened his coat and looked at Dean, a smirk in firm place on his face.

"You're adorable when you're jealous." Before Dean was able to respond, Cas ran out of the room, making his way to the kitchen.

A few minutes later, a fully dressed Dean came out and stopped in his tracks.

"Wow. You did this all, for me?" Dean asked, disbelief lacing his voice. Cas saw his eyes widened as he took in the table full of yummy food.

"Yup. Ooh. Wait, I have one more." Cas stood up and walked towards the oven, tuning away from Dean. He put on the oven mitts and slowly pulled out the perfectly hot cherry pie out. He stood in front of Dean and reveled in the surprise and ecstatic expression on his face.

"You-You. Holy hell. Oh god, Cas I love you so much right now!" Dean said as a huge toothy grin spread across his face, a happy glint in his green eyes.

Cas barely had enough time to react as Dean grabbed the sides of his face and smashed his lips on Cas's. 

Cas laughed. "I'm glad you liked it. But its not the only thing I have planned for today, so we need to leave before one."

Dean vigorously nodded and they sat down at the table, filling their plates with food. Cas smiled as he looked at how happy Dean looked. 

_Today is going to be fun._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love me some Meg so hope you enjoyed her character here!


	6. Dean

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hints of hunting in this chapter ;) #HunterJo

Dean stepped out of the house, stomach full, and breathed in the fresh air. Cas was right behind him, house keys in his hand, making sure the door was locked.

"Shoot. I left something inside." Cas said as he patted his coat pockets. "I'll be right back." Cas smiled at Dean briefly before unlocking the house and rushing back in.

Dean was confused but didn't think much of it. He walked towards the sleek Impala in their driveway, opened the door, and stepped into the drivers seat, putting the keys into the engine. As the Impala started up, he smiled as he heard the sweet purr of the engine.

_Ah, my baby. At least you'll be with me, right?_

His heart sank as the thought rose up again. He would be leaving in two days. The day after tomorrow. He would be leaving Cas in less than 72 hours.

He was startled when he heard the knock on the window in the shotgun seat. He looked up and saw Cas's smiling face. His heart inflated once more as he took in Cas's adorably disheveled hair. His bright eyes filled with excitement and- nervousness?

He smiled as he unlocked the Impala's door. Cas got in, hand in his coat pocket, and smiled at Dean.

"OK. Let's go." Cas said buckling his seatbelt.

"Uh, yeah. It's going to be a bit hard if I have no idea where were going.". Dean replied, an annoying "I know I'm right" smirk on his face.

"Crap. OK, well get out. I'll drive us there. This IS supposed to be a surprise anyhow." Cas quickly got out of the Impala and within seconds, was at the other side of the sleek black car.

Dean rolled down his window.

"Uh, yeah. No. No one gets to drive baby but me." Dean told Cas, leaning against the car door.

Cas shot Dean an annoyed look. "Dean. Out. Now." He said, his deep, gravelly voice going even lower to sound menacing.

_God damn it Cas... Why must you have a voice that says "Do as I say or I'll throw you straight to hell."?!_

_...Its kinda hot though..._

Dean gulped as he slowly unlocked the Impala's door. "Its not fair," he mumbled under his breath as he walked to the passenger seat.

"Life isn't fair. Now get in and let's go. Were on a time limit, remember?" Cas told him matter-of-factly with a small tilt of his head.

Dean got in silently and instantly turned on the radio.

Cas smirked. "Nope. Whatever happened to your _'Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole'_ rule? Does it not apply here?"

"I swear to God, Angel. You will let me pick the music, it is my birthday after all." Dean replied, horrified at the thought of listening to Cas's music instead of Metallica the whole way to... wherever they were going.

Cas laughed, a sound that made Dean's heart skip a beat. He shot Dean a look that said, "Go ahead." ,before turning back to the car and pulling out of the driveway.

Dean immediately put it on his favorite rock and roll station just as Carry On Wayward Son by Kansas began playing.

Dean grinned in triumph at doing the right thing at the right time.

_Unlike what you'll do in two days._

The thought hit him out of the blue, and his mood grew dark as they drove through the road.

He placed a small fake smile and threw the thought to the side as he caught Cas turning to look at him and Cas smiled back.

For the next few hours, Dean spent the time napping and belting along to his favorite songs, making Cas roll his eyes affectionately.

As they got closer to their destination, and Dean knew because he kept asking Cas every five minutes, he began to see familiar things. Like the small wooden farmhouse out in the large expanse of grass. The small houses dotting the land, the mini stores everywhere.

He finally knew where they were when a small diner came into view.

'The Roadhouse' was written clearly on top of the small building as they parked. The diner didn't have many windows, but it was still an amazing sight. For Dean at least. The wood of the diner was worn and old, the front doors chipped of paint but he smiled widely as he got out the Impala.

"Oh my god, Angel, you big sap!" He said over to Cas who was now walking to his side.

"This place brings so many memories of us." He whispered to himself.

Cas smiled at him and took Deans hand in his. "Today is going to be a day of First's. First up, our first kiss." Cas blushed as he said the last sentence, and Dean knew he was worrying that maybe Dean didn't remember, but, Oh, did Dean remember.

_It was mid-afternoon and they were sitting side by side as they saw the performers perform on the stage, Cas's hand in Dean's. They've been dating for a few weeks, but neither have been brave enough to start the kiss they knew was inevitable._

_"One day, you'll see me up there. Singing out loud as people cheer and clap." Cas had said quietly, making Dean turn to look at him. Cas had a small smile on his face as he watched the girl on stage sing. "Every one will love me and my voice."_

_Dean smiled. Everyone_ would _love Cas, he just knew it. Like, seriously, that boy had the voice of a damn angel!_

_"In the mean time, I'll be the person cheering you on." Dean replied, a grin on his face._

_Cas looked over at Dean, an expression of amazement and adoration on his face as a small smile appeared, this time directed straight at Dean._

_They stayed that way, smiling softly and staring into each others eyes like their lives depended on it, until Dean risked a glance at Cas's pink lips. When he glanced back to his blue eyes, he saw that Cas's eyes were on his lips. His heart started racing and his breath hitched. Cas looked back up, a soft pink blush spreading along his cheeks._

_Dean slowly leaned in, the space between them growing smaller. Cas followed his lead, leaning in until there were mere inches between them and they were breathing in the same air. Dean's nerves were on high, he was terrified he would be sloppy or that he wasn't good enough. After all, this would be his first kiss with a guy. The first kiss that actually mattered, all because it was Cas._

_His eyes fluttered closed as Cas's lips met his, and his thoughts vanished. He felt Cas's warm lips move against his and he swore the world had stopped. His heart was thundering against his chest and he felt out of breath. Cas's hand went up to the back of Deans head, pushing him even closer._

_The kiss was far from perfect. Their noses bumped too much, and their teeth clinked every now and then, but it felt... right. No other kiss Dean had ever had felt as right and wholesome and just ..._ perfect, _despite anything, as this one had felt._

Dean came back from his memories and looked at Cas.

_As all of the kisses with Cas are. Perfect._

_And none will ever compare._

He smiled.

"Cas, you are such a sap." Dean commented, smile firmly in place. "And god damn it, do I love you for it."

They walked hand in hand inside, getting a whiff of the amazing smells. The smell of cheeseburgers, hot, salty fries and strawberry milkshakes filled their nostrils, and Dean was hit with a sense of familiarity.

"I haven't been here in ages." Dean tells Cas.

Cas smirks at him and walks them over to the small bar looking in on the kitchen.

"No, you haven't. And you haven't called either, ya idjit! " The voice is warm yet stern. Dean whipped around to find Ellen and Bobby, arms crossed, glaring at him, standing no more than five feet away

Dean couldn't help the gigantic grin that spread across his face as he sees his make-shift parents looking back at him. He lets go of Cas and almost runs into their now open arms.

"God, Ellen, Bobby. I've missed you guys so damn much." Dean says as Bobby pats him on the back roughly.

"And we've missed you too," Ellen says, wrapping him in a tight hug. "But why on _earth_ , have you not even called?!" She let go of him and now stood with her hands on her hips, glaring at him like a kid caught stealing a cookie.

Dean shrunk under her glare, but was able to get out a pathetic excuse.

"I, uh, I had gotten a new phone and uh, I forgot the number?" Dean knew it wasn't the truth, but the truth was that he had simply wanted to forget this city. This is where he had grown up, where his father had beat him when he came home drunk. The only good memories were of The Roadhouse and when he met Cas.

Ellen and Bobby traded glances, and Dean knew they understood. Ellen and Bobby had been the ones who saved him and Sam from Child Protection Services when his dad died. They knew what his father had done, but Dean had always begged them not to tell anyone. They reluctantly agreed, but they gave him and Sam a room in The Roadhouse when their dad came back drunk. Dean always took Sammy there, knowing that if John noticed both boys gone, he would go out in search for them. So Dean had endured every single punch, every single kick to the ribs, every single filthy word that came out of John's mouth in order to protect his Sammy.

Ellen and Bobby smiled at him, and then went to hug Castiel. Dean watched as they wrapped him in a hug and slapped hands on his back, Cas smiling wide at the both of them.

_I'm going to be leaving this behind. This amazing family I made. Its going to be lost in my rear view mirror._

Dean's mood grew dark for the second time that day. He quickly threw the thoughts aside and focused on putting a fake smile on his face. He walked over to the three people.

"Hey, so where's Jo?" He asked, the little blonde girl coming to his memory.

"Jo's at college. She left a few months ago, actually." Ellen responded with a bright smile.

Dean laughed, thinking of their daughter. Little blonde Jo, at college.

"So she finally grew out of the 'hunting monsters' stage, huh?" Dean responded with a laugh.

Jo had always wanted to hunt ghosts and monsters, things that just weren't real. The little 12 year old would go on and on about things called wendigoes, shape shifters, werewolves, and even the occasional demon. She had a fantasy about becoming what she called a "hunter". That girl carried a _silver pocket knife_ everywhere _._

Dean thought it was insane, hunters were the ones who killed animals for sport, like him and Sam. 

"Oh, that girl and her stories. But, yeah. I think she grew out of them when she finally told me she had applied for a college in Colorado." Ellen replied with a small shake of her head.

Dean smiled and sat next to Cas. Cas looked up at him and smiled back, their usual staring contest beginning.

Bobby let out a groan at the sight.

"You idjits. Always with the staring." He walked into the kitchen, groaning once more as he looked back and saw the boys still staring.

Dean blushed lightly and looked at the menu.

"I'll have the strawberry milkshake and the largest order of fries you have. Ellen, you have the best god damn fries ever." Dean said looking up at Ellen who had moved to behind the counter.

"Of course I do, Dean. I make 'em. " Ellen smiled back at him and then looked over at Cas.

"What will you have, honey?" She asked him.

"I'll have the same, please." He smiled politely back at Ellen, then as she left, turned his head to Dean.

"So how are you liking you birthday yet?" Cas asked Dean with a glint in his eyes.

"I. Am. Absolutely _loving_ it." Dean said with an enthusiastic tone. "I can't wait to see what else you have planned for today."

Cas just smirked and Dean caught a glimpse of his handpatting his coat pocket, but didn't think much of it. 


	7. Chapter 7

When their food arrived, they ate talking about random things and laughing the whole time.

Ellen and Bobby stood side by side, looking at the both of them through the small kitchen window.

"I bet you a hundred bucks those lovebirds will be married by the end of the year." Ellen whispered to Bobby.

Bobby's gruff voice whispered back, a small smile on his face.

"I think they're already married. Just look at them idjits. The fools are just too stupid to bring an actual ring to seal it."

The stood there, smiling at the two boys laugh and give each other pecks on the lips, saying they "had some smoothie on your lip."

The stood there, already making the list of who they would invite to the wedding.

____

As Dean went over to pay for their food, Cas made his way to Ellen and Bobby.

"Is everything ready for tonight? Are you guys missing anything? Anyone? Do we have enough food? " Cas asked frantically. He had to admit, he was a bit nervous for tonight's plans.

_More like terrified. What if Dean doesn't like it?_

He shook himself out of his thoughts and looked back up at the elderly couple.

"Everything is fine, Castiel. You just need to remember your part. Seriously, tonight will be fantastic." Ellen told him, trying to calm the nerves apparent on Cas's face.

"I know, its just-," Cas stopped. "Its just I've never done this before. I'm a bit scared. I've usually only thrown him small house parties." Cas smiled a bit at that. " I got Charlie and her girlfriend to be here tonight. Also Kevin said he would take a day away from college to come. I haven't heard back from Bela, but Benny and Chuck will definitely be there. Has my brother told you at what time they'll be arriving? And what about the instruments? Are they bringing their own or will they need to rent?"

Cas finally realized he was babbling from the look on the couple's faces and decided to shut up.

Bobby laughed wholeheartedly. "Calm down, ya idjit. We have everything ready and we'll worry about anything that comes up. You focus on giving my boy the best birthday ever, OK? God knows he deserves it."

Cas smiled. "Of course, Bobby."

Dean showed up behind Cas with a huge grin on his face, asking what was up. When Cas frowned and said the ceiling with a "Why are you asking that?" expresion on his face, the group exploded in laughter. A few minutes later, they all said their goodbyes and the couple climbed into their Impala, Cas driving them to their next location.

~

A half hour later, the pair were pulling into Singer's Auto. Dean was confused as hell.

"Cas, what are we doing here? We just saw Bobby like an hour ago." Dean told him, a perplexed look on his face.

Cas threw him a smirk and stepped out of the car. Dean followed, curious about what his boyfriend had planned.

Cas was a bit nervous about this part of the day. This was the place where Dean taught Cas how drive a motorcycle. The lesson had ended up with Cas sprawled on the floor with a couple of bruises and Dean laying on top of him. How they ended up in that position was a result of Cas falling of the motorcycle and pulling Dean down with him. Cas chose this _first_ because it was the day he realized a life changing thing.

It was when Cas realized just how beautiful Dean was. And not just his looks, the way his eyes shone when he laughed at Cas, the way his face lit up when he flashed that heart-stopping smile. The way Dean wasn't afraid of anything in those moments when he was on the bike, that he was free and happy, it was what made Cas start falling in love with Dean.

Cas smiled as he took Dean's hand and took him to the back of the Garage towards the two sleek black motorcycles waiting for them. Two helmets sat on their seats.

Cas silently thanked Bobby for lending them to him.

Cas turned and grinned widely at Dean.

"So? Ready to ride?" Cas said, nervous that Dean might not remember the event like he did.

~

_Dean had invited Cas over to the garage to teach him how to ride a motorcycle and Cas was terrified. The sun was up high when he got to Singer's Auto, and Cas saw Dean waiting for him at the door._

_"Cas! Man, its about time you got here!" Dean greeted him with a wide grin._

_Cas smiled shyly as Dean patted him on the back. His back tingled from where Dean had put his hand. Cas brushed the feeling off._

_"I was debating whether or not I should risk my sanity by putting up with you for a whole day." Cas teased, an equally wide grin on his face._

_Dean laughed and started to get Cas through the basics._

_*_

_The sun was starting to set and Cas hurt. A lot. Dean had kept the bike slow for him, but his balance was awful so he kept falling off. Now he had a couple of bruises from the falls and he was sweaty._

Great _._

_Dean laughed as he helped Cas up from yet another fall._

_"Man, you really are bad at this." Dean teased. "Since its getting dark, hop on behind me and I'll show you what a real motorcycle ride is."_

_Cas looked at Dean. "Are you sure? What if I fall?" He asked._

_Dean thought for a moment._

_"I'll go slow the first times around so that you can get used to it." Dean replied easily_

_Cas smiled and nodded his head._

_"Ok, let's do this. What do I do?" Cas said as he watched Dean get on the bike._

_"Climb on behind me and wrap your arms around my middle so you don't fall." Dean replied coolly, not looking at Cas as he strapped his helmet on._

_Cas gulped and he felt his face start to heat up._

Ok. I just have to wrap my arms around Dean. Around a very good looking Dean. A very hot and firm Dean. Hehe.... no big deal.... Right _?_

_He groaned inwardly and pushed his very not appropriate thoughts away. Its not like Dean would ever like him back the same way Cas liked him. They were best friends after all, nothing more. No matter how much Cas wanted them to be._

_He climbed up behind Dean and strapped on his own helmet. He hesitantly wrapped his arms around Dean, keeping a good 2 inches between them._

_Much to his bad luck, or good luck, Dean would have none of it because before he could react, Dean's hand reached back and pulled Cas right up to him._

_Zero inches between them._

_Cas could feel every breath Dean took, how his breath had sped up a tiny bit, he could feel Dean's wildly beating heart, but put them off as adrenaline. Cas's heart was beating just as fast, but not for the same reason. His proximity to Dean was making his brain stop functioning. He was so distracted by the feel of the warm body on his, he didn't even realize Dean had started driving._

_He went slow just as he had promised, but the feeling caught Cas by surprise and he instantly tightened his arms around Dean. He felt like maybe he was holding on too tight, but Dean wasn't saying anything so, oh well._

_They drove around the large field behind the garage for a while, slowly and calmly. Cas had relaxed, let his body lean on Dean's. He smiled as he felt Dean breathing, his body heat warming Cas as the sun set._

_It was all ruined when a black bird swooped low and caught Cas by surprise. His instincts told him to duck and cover his face, but as he did, he let go of Dean. He was starting to fall back when he yelped and grabbed Dean's shirt as a last attempt to not fall. Dean let out a squeak as Cas pulled him down and both boys were tumbling down. The motorcycle, now without its driver, crashed forward a few feet from the them. They stumbled and rolled, limbs in a tangle, as they let out yelps and grunts of pain. When they finally came to a stop, Cas found himself not being able to breathe. The reason why had nothing to do with the fall._

_Cas was sprawled on the ground, hair a complete unruly black mess, arms spread wide beside him like an eagle. Dean had landed right on top of him, hands on the side of Cas's sweaty face, his knees straddling Cas's hips. Both had lost their helmets in the fall, so they were staring right into each other's eyes._

_Cas had stopped thinking as his eyes met Dean's bright green ones. Dean looks so perfect as the sun set, the rays catching random strands of hair as they flew everywhere, giving them a golden color. He noticed Dean's freckles, how there was a galaxy of them on his nose and cheeks. He wanted nothing but to spend a day mapping every single one. He wanted to find all of them, no matter where they were. Dean's green eyes, in the light, held specks of gold, each glinting mischievously. Cas saw as Dean's full lips parted slightly, how his tongue reached out slowly to wet his dry mouth. Cas's eyes  hungrily followed the movement._

_Cas came to the realization that their bodies fit together so perfectly, like puzzle pieces that finally found their places. As if they were made for each other. Everything that Cas had ever felt for Dean multiplied in this moment. As he stared up into Dean's eyes, both of them panting and dirty, thoughts about Dean filled Cas's head in an instant._

_Dean was fearless. He was brave. He was loyal as hell. He cared and loved deeper than anyone else. He would do everything and anything for those he cares about. He was strong, and not just physically. He knew when something was wrong and he always tried to fix it. No matter what it was, no matter how hard it could be to fix. Everything rushed into Cas as he finally realized._

_That thing he had been calling a crush had developed into something more. Something painful and heartbreaking but wonderful as hell. It made Cas stop breathing as the words finally formed._

I'm falling in love with Dean _._

_And it was painful because he knew Dean would never love him back._

_He doesn't know how long they stayed that way, looking into each others eyes, mesmerized, taking in every single thing, until Bobby opened the back door and called them in._

_They both blinked as they finally realized what was happening and they scrambled to get up. Cas laughed nervously as he handed Dean the lost helmets. Cas was still reeling from what happened._

_"Guess I really am that bad, huh?" Cas tried to sound as cool and collected as he was NOT feeling._

_Dean laughed but it sounded a bit breathless. Cas was confused but didn't think much about it._

He's probably wierded out.

_"Uh, yeah. Guess I'm going to have to give you more lessons until you don't suck huh?" Dean looked up at him, the look of hopefulness lost on Cas._

_"Yeah." Cas replied, a small smile on his face. "Anyways, I-I have to get going. Text me the day of our next lesson."_

_Cas walked home after waving goodbye Dean._

_That night, he stayed up late, replaying the memory in his head. The new feeling growing steadily in his chest._

_~_

Dean grinned and turned to Cas.

"Just like the first time or are you more experienced now?" Dean told him with a teasing smirk.

"I might've been bad the first time you brought me here, but today I'm gonna kick your butt." Cas replied, walking towards the bikes.

They sat on the bikes and counted down. Soon they were off, no longer going slow as they sped off into the field. Cas smiled as he felt the air against his face. Their goal was to be the one to reach the end of the field first. Cas was already ahead of Dean, but Dean was gaining speed slowly. They kept speeding until Cas reached the end.

"What did I tell you? I kicked your butt!" Cas boasted proudly.

Dean stuck out his tongue. "Rematch?"

Cas smirked. "You know it."

They raced over and over, Cas winning almost all of them, until the clock hit five.

Cas stopped his bike as the alarm on his hone sounded. He waved to Dean.

"We have one more place I need to take you. Let's go." Cas said excitedly, a grin worthy of the Cheshire cat on his face. He was almost jumping up and down.

Dean laughed fondly at his boyfriend/ energetic kitten.

"Ok, OK. Let's get going then." They put the bikes back where they had found them and Dean stepped back into the car.

"I'll be right back. I need to use the restroom." Cas told him. Dean smiled, and waved at him to go.

Cas turned and almost ran into the garage. As soon as the door closed behind him, he took out his phone and sent a text.

* * *

 

**Cas: Gabriel, are the preparations done yet? Were about to leave from Bobby's.**

Gabriel: Yeah, baby bro. Everything set up and we're ready to rock! U nervous?

**Cas: I am very worried, yes. Did everyone make it? What about Sam?**

Gabriel: Bro, u need to calm down! Everyone's here. Red head and her gf, Kevin Solo, Samsquatch is here, uh, yeah. Everyone's here basically. Vampire boy is on his way, 5 minutes away he says

**Cas: Gabriel, I have told you its not kind to call Benny "Vampire Boy". And thank you. We'll be there in half an hour.**

Gabriel:yeah yeah hes just looks like a vampire but he aint whatever ya say cassie, see ya baby bro!

* * *

 

Cas rolled his eyes and turned to walk back to the car with his stomach in knots. It was time.

Dean turned his head to look at Cas and grinned, excited. 

"So, what's next?"


	8. "Casdean?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW this is the longest chapter yet im v proud   
> hope you guys are liking it so far!!

Dean was having the time of his life.

He had forgotten all about his plans, or put them aside in a dark corner of his mind, to focus on today.

He had sworn himself to not think about it. At all. Today was going to be his day. His farewell. So hell if he wasn't going to enjoy it.

And damn, did Cas know how to make him enjoy it.

Now they were off to someplace else and Dean could hardly wait to know what. He wonders what other first was as important as them falling in love.

Yeah, Dean had also realized at Bobby's all those years ago just how deep he had fallen for the dark haired boy. In fact, it was one of his favorite memories. Not that he needs to remember what Cas felt like underneath him- for that he could just wait until the sun went down and they went home.

Dean smirked silently as he looked out the window. The sun was halfway across the sky and it was giving it a slight orange tint.

Dean smiled happily as his eyes closed for a second.

~

He was being shaken awake by two strong hands.

"Dean. We're here." He heard an angelic voice say.

He grumbled as he finally got a grasp on conscious life and opened his eyes.

He could've sworn he was in heaven because an angel was staring back at him. He had a smile and a nervous glint in his eyes.

He smiled widely and leaned forward to meet his lips with Cas's for a short kiss.

Cas smiled at him and leaned back into his seat. "Don't bribe me into staying in the car with kisses, we need to go."

Dean laughed and took off his seatbelt to place another kiss on Cas, this one longer.

They broke apart, both of them remembering they needed air to live, and Cas laughed silently.

"Come on. This is my favorite first." Cas told him, pushing Dean back into his seat.

Dean smiled. "I wonder what it is if its your favorite." It was then that he finally looked out.

He felt giddy as soon as he took in the sight. The beach was not very crowded at this time of day, so you could see waves clearly, moving lazily back and forth. The sand was glistening under the sun's rays giving it a relaxing, warm mood.

"Wait, is this-" Dean started as the memory started to rise.

Cas grinned. "This is. The most important of our first's." He turned to Dean and gave him a quick peck on the lips. "The first time we met."

Dean grinned as he opened the Impala's door. "You sap." He accused Cas fondly.

He saw as Cas shrugged and threw him a small shy smile.

"Come on. Let's go take a walk." Cas told him as he stepped out of the car.

Dean grinned and he climbed out too. "So Cas, is this last part of the day only going to involve us alone on the beach, just the two of us, on the sand?" He said suggestively with a wiggle of his eyebrows. He wrapped an arm around Cas's waist.

Cas laughed. "Yes. You and me, just walking along the beach." Cas smiled as they spotted the familiar ginormous black rock.

From a stranger's point of view, it would look like the beach ended there, at the sleek black rock and that there was nothing else beyond that. But not to Dean and Cas. They knew that the rock hid a familiar turn that would take them to a completely hidden, cave-like part of the beach that no one knew about. They had found this out years ago, when they first met at a regular high school party. The host had sent them directions on how to get past the rock.

Now, they both stopped at the rock to remember the old memory.

~

_Cas had been invited to a beach party. An honest to God , high school, beach party._

_He turned to his brother Gabriel, who are as only a year older than him._

_"Should I go?" he asked innocently._

_"Baby bro, you HAVE to go. I mean, if you don't, you won't ever get that real high school experience. I bet it'll be tons of fun." He smiled at Cas. "Plus, they invited me , Balth, and Anna too and if we don't take you with us, Dad is going to unleash all of heaven's mighty wrath on our asses."_

_Cas laughed at that. "Ok. I'll go with you, but just because I'm curious."_

_*_

_"Dean, you don't have to go to EVERY SINGLE party they invite you to." Sammy whined from inside their shared bedroom._

_Dean checked himself out in the bathroom mirror._

Looking good, Winchester.

_"Yes I do Sammy. You see, I actually do have a social life." Dean smirked at the grunt Sam made at the name Sammy. "Plus, I'm in desperate need for a lay and this beach party will be the perfect opportunity."_

_Sam snorted. "As If you can't just say hi to a person on the street and get laid."_

_Dean grinned. "You're right Sammy. But I'm still going." He grabbed his car keys. "Be good with Ellen and Bobby OK? By the time I come home I want that homework all done or else you won't get to go on that playdate with Jess."_

_Sam blushed furiously but let out a small 'Yes, Dean.'_

_Dean leapt into his car and pulled out of the driveway._

_*_

_The sun was setting and the car was hot as hell. Anna, Balthazar, Gabriel, and Castiel sat in the car on their way to the beach._

_"Gabriel, please tell me were almost there. I can't take Anna's perfume any longer." Cas said and he laughed as his big sister smacked him playfully on the arm._

_Gabriel and Balthazar stole a look at their siblings in the back seat._

_"Hey, calm down kiddos. And, yeah Cassie, were here." Balthazar said as Gabriel snickered._

_When they finally parked their car, Anna was the first one out, grabbing her purse and almost jumping out. The guys all gave her a weird look._

_"What? I'm desperate for the shirtless guys I'll be seeing!" she joked as she walked, her red hair in a ponytail._

_Cas climbed out and followed his loud family until they met with a large black rock._

_Gabriel and Balthazar moved the rock a tiny bit, enough for all of them to move through._

_As soon as they stepped inside, Cas saw just how huge this place was. It was more than a hundred feet in length and around twenty feet wide. Sand decorated the place, and people were everywhere._

_How the hell had they ever missed this place?_

_Cas heard the loud music coming from a huge make-shift stage coming from the center. The music was loud and in the dark atmosphere of the cave-like place, they had what seemed like a million strobe lights, lighting every crevice._

_He turned towards the open side of the cave. He could see the ocean, dark and enticing. The lull of the waves completely contrasting the beat of the music._

_When he turned back he noticed his siblings were gone, disappearing into the large crowd._

How in the world are there so many people? Are there even that many kids at the school?

_Cas sighed and moved towards the ocean. He sat down far enough away that the waves didn't wet him. He frowned as he looked back._

This is going to be fun.

_*_

_Dean arrived inside the cave just as the sun was setting._

Damn. This place is packed.

_He was a bit taken aback by the crowd, but walked on in anyways, putting a flirty smile on his face._

Time to get myself a lay.

_He stepped into the crowd._

_*_

_Cas was starving!_

_It had been a whole hour of sitting, looking out at the ocean, and his butt was completely numb and sore. He looked back at the crowd and saw there was a long food bar on the far side of the cave._

_Cas got up and started walking towards food._

_*_

_After an hour of flirting and making out with random chicks, Dean felt tired. He also felt the persistent rumble of his stomach. He looked over to the food bar and stopped in his tracks._

_There, at the edge of the bar, was the most beautiful human being Dean had ever seen. He had a mess of hair that looked like he had just had sex (and considering where they were, Dean briefly wondered if he had), and even though he wore a tanned trench coat and a dress shirt, he looked hot as hell. He walked a little closer and  he stared as the boy's eyes briefly swept the crowd, past Dean, before he sat down in a chair. Dean was looking at the side profile of the boy, and god, he was still handsome as hell._

Or heaven as this guys looks like a damn angel.

_He wondered if the boy played for his team before starting the long walk to the chair next to the boy._

_*_

Food.

_That was the only thing Cas was thinking as he sat down. He had looked around the crowd to try and spot one of his siblings, but was met with nothing but piles of sweaty bodies._

_Cas shivered at the thought of anyone being in that. Let alone be_ comfortable _in that._

_He was sitting on a very comfortable chair when the bartender, a sixteen year old girl, came up to him._

_"Hi there! My name is Hannah." The girl said to Cas, a very flirty smile on her face. "What's your name?"_

_She was very pretty, with her short black hair and striking smile. The girl leaned slightly on the bar, giving her breasts a lift out of her shirt._

_Cas, however, didn't notice the girls flirty manners and regarded her with a friendly smile. He always was so dull when it came to this._

_"I'm Castiel. So do I order or....?" Cas asked her questioningly. He was rather hungry and really needed a hamburger now._

_Hannah's smile dropped a little but she kept on flirting._

_"Of course hot stuff. Just tell me what you want and I'll give it to you." She said suggestively with a wink._

_Cas smiled._

_"Great. In that case, can I get a cheeseburger, a side of fries, and a coke please?" Cas responded brightly._

_Hannah finally let her smile fall as she huffed and walked away._

_Cas sat there confused before a large hand landed in his shoulder._

_"Heyya Cassie." He heard his brother slur behind him._

_"What do you want Gabriel?" Cas said, a frown on his face as Gabriel took a seat next to him._

_"What? Can't I enjoy a good drink and a conversation with my little brother?" Gabriel responded with a fake hurt expression. He clutched at his heart in mock pain. "That hurts deep, Cassie, deep."_

_Cas rolled his eyes and turned towards the bar. The bartender Hannah was flirting with some other customers. One though, one caught his eye. He had amazing dark- blonde hair, a smile on his face that screamed of self-confidence, he was dressed in a tight green shirt and a leather jacket. He was two seats down and he was sitting straight under a light, so Cas was able to tell the color of his eyes._

_Green. The boy had green eyes. God, the boy had the most amazing green eyes Cas had ever seen. But they weren't any regular boring green, to Cas's bad luck, he had bright forest green eyes. Cas realized he wouldn't mind getting lost in_ that _forest. They shone with mischief and a glint of –_

_Cas was thrown out of his thoughts when Gabriel smacked his hand- very loudly- on the bar._

_"Yo! Cassie! HelloOo! Stop mind-fucking and mentally undressing innocent strangers and pay attention to your brother!" Gabriel practically screamed._

_Cas's checks blushed a bright red as he stole a look at the handsome stranger, just to find that he was looking at him._

_"Gabriel, I was not mind-fucking anyone. And if you could please keep your voice down so I don't die of embarrassment that would be just GREAT." Cas sneered at his brother, who by now was having a laughing fit._

_"Oh, Cassie, you're too easy. OK but anyways baby bro," Gabriel started after he had calmed down. "I came to tell you that someone has been ogling you like a you were an ice cream in the middle of a hot summer day since you sat down."_

_Cas was confused. Him? Being ogled?_

_"Yup. You heard right. She was even flirting with you. Did the whole make-my-boobs-bigger trick." Gabriel continued as he jerked his head towards the bar._

_Cas connected the dots._

_"Hannah was flirting with me?" Cas asked, a perplexed look on his face._

_"Oh brother. You're hopeless Cassie. You're sixteen! You need to live it up!" Gabriel said with a dramatic sigh. "Anyways I'm off to find candy. And girls. But mostly candy." And with that Gabriel was gone, leaving Cas sitting confused and alone._

_*_

_When Dean had gotten close to the good-looking boy he saw the girl, Hannah her name was, flirting with him. What was worse was that the guy flashed her a heart-stopping smile and, it looked like, flirted back at her. Maybe he didn't play for his team._

Buuut he could be bi, like me.

_With that thought of encouragement , he aimed for the seat next to him again._

_Just to be stopped by a short blonde man, who put his hand possessively on the boy's shoulder._

Shoot. Is he taken?

Well of course he's taken, a boy looking like that?

_He sighed dejectedly and sat down two seats away from the pair. When the bartender Hannah came up to him, flirting once again, he didn't hesitate to throw her one of his I'll-be-in-your-pants-in-less-time-than-you-can-say-Hey smiles and flirted a bit._

_He still needed to get laid, and the one person that caught his attention was taken so why the hell not?_

_He was still mindlessly flirting with her when he heard a loud voice._

_"Yo! Cassie! HelloOo! Stop mind-fucking and mentally undressing innocent strangers and pay attention to your brother!"_

_When he turned his head towards the voice he realized it the angel boy and the short guy. He saw the dark haired boy look around quickly, and he seemed to stop at Dean for just a second._

Ah. Brothers. Wait-what?

_He replayed what the blonde man said and looked around briefly wondering who the boy had been mentally undressing._

_He saw the couple- brothers- bicker silently before the blonde man shook his head towards the bartender._

Of course it was Hannah. 

_Dean deflated for a second but when he looked back at the boys, only the dark haired one was there._

_He knew that he didn't have a chance with him but, something told him to just go over there._

_So he did._

_Dean stood up and walked over to the now-empty seat and sat down._

_He looked over to the boy and he looked adorably confused. Not that he thought the boy was adorable._

_A slow song started playing and the crowd separated into couples. Dean listened to the lyrics as he stared at the boy._

**Wise men say**

**Only fools rush in**

_The boy looked up at him and an unreadable expression passed by his face._

**But I can't help**

**Falling in love with you**

_As soon as his eyes met the boy's, Dean felt like time had stopped._

**Take my hand**

**Take my whole life too**

_The boy had the bluest eyes he had ever seen. They were amazing and resembled an ocean under a bright summer sun. At that moment he knew he would be okay drowning in_ that _ocean._

**For I can't help**

**Falling in love with you**

_He reminded himself that the boy wasn't intrested and closed off his thoughts._

_He put on a friendly smile as he said, "Hey. I'm Dean."_

_*_

_As soon as he heard the chair next to his squeak, Cas looked up and found himself face to face with the handsome dark-blonde stranger._

Oh shit.

_A song started playing and the crowd split into couples._

**Wise men say**

_His eyes widened as he looked into the boy's eyes, even greener now that they were face to face, and he found himself forgetting how to speak. The forest was now right in front of him, and he was in a trance._

**Only fools rush in**

_He wished he could just stare into the boy's eyes forever, but sadly he knew he couldn't. He stared at the boy as the song blurred into the background.  Time seemed to stop, and those green eyes had gained a light-hearted shine._

**For I can't help**

**Falling in love with you**

_The boy spoke, and Cas almost didn't catch what he said._

_Cas stared dumbly at him._

_"I'm sorry, what?" Cas asked, his face starting to heat up._

_The boy laughed and_ **god** _if it wasn't the hottest thing Cas had ever heard._

**Shall I stay?**

**Would it be a sin...**

_The boy looked at him, a smile in his eyes and repeated what he had said._

_"Hey. I'm Dean." He told Cas, a friendly smile on his face. He extended a hand towards him and Cas took it._

**If I can't help**

**Falling in love with you**

_"Castiel." He told the boy-Dean. "Nice to meet you." He added with a smile._

Snap. How do I flirt? Is this guy even, you know, interested in me? Would he even like me? How can I tell? God, I'm a train wreck, I couldn't even tell when Hannah was flirting with me! God, what do I do?

_His brain hit a stream of questions as he smiled at boy._

_"So, you go to Carver? Carver Edlund as in the high school I mean." Cas asked nervously._

**Some things**

**Are meant to be**

_"Yeah. About to be a junior in a few months." Dean replied with an easy smile._

**Take my hand**

**Take my whole life too**

_"Me too." Cas said and another bartender by the name of Bela chose that moment to bring their food._

_"Cheeseburger, fries, and a coke for 'Cassie'," Bela said as she placed the food in front of him and smiled sweetly at Cas. "And a double with a side of onion rings and a coke for the handsome Dean." This time, she set the food down with a folded napkin and a wink. She leaned down a bit as she placed the food, her bra showing a bit._

**For I can't help**

**Falling in love with you**

_He watched as Dean threw her a flirty smile and winked back._

_"Thanks sweetheart. When does your shift end?" Dean asked, leaning forward a bit and eyeing the girl's lingerie._

_She giggled and leaned forward to whisper something in his ear._

_The song ended and was replaced by an upbeat song, the crowd coming back in like a wave._

_The whole time Cas watched Dean and Bela, and he felt his heart drop._

Aaand he's straight. Of course he is.

_When Bela stepped back, she threw Dean another wink and got back to work._

_Dean looked down at his food and glanced at the napkin. When he opened it, he found a lipstick kiss and a neatly written phone number. Dean turned to Cas._

_"So. Cheeseburgers, huh." Dean said kindly, a small smile on his face._

_Cas looked down at his food and smiled a little._

_"Uh, Yeah. I can't get enough of them." Cas replied quietly._

_Dean laughed._

_"Well let's hope the burgers here are as good as the ones at The Roadhouse." Dean told him as he picked up his burger._

_"You go to The Roadhouse? That's my favorite place!" Cas was ecstatic. This boy knew The Roadhouse?!_

_Dean smirked. "I practically live there."_

_Cas grinned and Dean bit into his hamburger. "Ok. Its pretty OK."_

_Castiel looked at his own food. He had forgotten he was hungry when he starred talking to Dean. He picked up his cheeseburger and bit into it._

_"Mmmm." He moaned. "Oh god. This is amazing."_

_When he looked up at Dean, he was staring at him intently. Dean quickly looked back down at his food._

_"Uh, y-yeah." Dean stammered. He looked up at Cas._

_Cas, on the other hand, didn't notice any of this. He was busy with his cheeseburger. He laughed a little._

_"These make me, " He chuckled silently. "Very happy."_

_Cas had a huge grin on his face he looks back at Dean._

_Dean threw him a grin before getting back at his burger._

_They finished their food as they talked about school and nonsense things. Even though Cas knew he didn't have a chance with him, Dean was a really nice, cool guy so he thought he would give friendship a try. Who knows? Maybe they would be best friends!_

_When Balthazar came to get Cas, the two were seated side by side at the edge of the beach, talking and laughing. It was around 12 am, and people were starting to leave._

_Cas gave Dean his phone number so that they could stay in touch. They made plans to hang out and Cas left with his brothers and sister._

_That night, Dean went home alone and happy. The folded napkin long forgotten._

_After that day, the two were inseparable._

* * *

 

Dean laughed. "God, we were idiots! If only we had known! We would have gotten together a year before." He looked at Cas, still in his protective embrace.

Cas laughed lightly. "Yeah. We were idiots. Hey, let's go inside. I want to know what it looks like after all this time." Cas looked up at Dean with his puppy eyes, shining with a small note of mischief, and Dean knew he couldn't say no.

"You and your damn puppy eyes, I swear." Dean grumbled, not really angry.

Cas grinned and stepped out of Deans embrace. "Lets do this."

Together they pushed the rock and Cas stepped in first. Dean quickly threw himself in as he let the rock go.

"Okay, now wha-" Deans words died on his tongue as he turned around and was met with the view of a large crowd staring back at him.

"SURPRISE!" They all yelled together and before he could react, people were swarming him with colored streamers and a million "Happy Birthday"s.

Dean was confused as hell.

_What was happening? What? When did they get here? What? Who was here? What? Who set this up?_

His last question was answered when his eyes found Cas standing to the side playing with the lapels of his trench, looking very adorably nervous and an excited look in those blue eyes of his.

_Of course it was Cas. Oh god, I don't think I could love him more than I do right now._

He grinned widely as he saw everyone around him. In the background, music started to play. He looked up from the people and saw a makeshift stage where a couple of people were set up with instruments.

Dean laughed as he saw Gabriel rocking out with his guitar, Balthazar on the drums, and Anna on the bass. He saw another girl up there with a microphone, but Dean didn't think he really recognized her much. It wasn't until her dark hair got out of her face that Dean recognized her.

_Hannah._

He was going to have to ask Cas about that later.

He turned back to the people around him as the music played.

Everyone he knew was here.

Benny stood by his side with one of his trademark hats, Charlie and her girlfriend Dorothy were in front of him, jumping up and down in excitement, Charlie wrapping Dean in a bone-crushing hug. Garth was there too, waiting his turn to give Dean a huge bear hug. Cas had even gotten Kevin to step away from college life enough to come, and he was now standing at the side next to Sam, a firm happy smile on his calm face but his eyes were sad as he watched Dean enveloped by people. Ash came up to him and shook his hand with a grin. Jody was there too, she tilted her head at Dean as she stood to the side. Bobby and Ellen were there, by the food bar ( _Did Cas really try to recreate that night?)_ and they were grinning at him as they cooked. Bela even came, her girlfriend at her side.

Years ago, after Dean and Cas got together, Dean and Bela had met again. She told him how she really wasn't straight and that she just needed the tips and Dean confessed he was really after the dark haired boy. They became good friends after that.

There were a lot of people Dean had never met before but he guessed that his guests brought guests.

When everyone had disappeared from around him and into the crowd by the stage, he turned around ready to kiss the hell out of Cas for this but was stopped by a pair of thin, strong arms that wrapped around him from the back.

"Long time, no see!" A light voice said.

_No freaking way._

As the person let go and stepped in his line of view he saw a small bright face framed by straight, long blonde hair.

"Jo?" Dean asked, awestruck.

"In the flesh." She smiled up at him and gave him another hug. "I snuck out of college to come. Your boyfriend can be really persuasive."

Dean laughed at that. God, did he know.

"Thanks for coming. How's your 'hunting' life?" he joked.

She looked up, an unreadable expression on her face.

"Its... complicated." She gave him a small secretive smile. "I guess I really didn't grow out of it." She gave a weak laugh. "There are things out there Dean. Horrible things you would never imagine." Her smile was lost as she got a faraway look on her face.

Dean laughed, sure she was yanking his chain. "Sure there are. I have to go, but I'll talk more with you later okay, Jo?"

She looked back at him. "Sure. See you around Dean." She placed a practiced smile on her face as she walked off.

He was ready to attack Cas with the force of a million kisses as he turned around.

But again, someone stopped him. A head of dirty-blonde hair made him stop in his tracks. He forgot how to speak.

He looked down and saw his half-brother smiling up at him.

"Hey Dean. Happy Birthday." Adam told him as he stepped up and gave him a quick hug. "I left your present on the table with your other ones." Adam stepped away and walked towards the crowd.

_Holy. Fucking. Shit._

 How the actual fuck Cas did get Adam, _Adam,_ to come?! The kid's mom never let him out, for _anything_. The kid was home-schooled, rarely saw the light of day (which was why the poor kid was so pale) and he didn't have any friends. It was as if he lived in a cage, he was never let out. His mother was as stern as Lucifer. Not Cas's brother, the real one.

 

But Adam had come. Here. _For Dean._

His heart welled up at the thought. After a moment, he realized he hasn't even said a word to Adam because of how genuinely surprised and star struck he had been. He quickly looked around to look for him, he had disappeared into the crowd.

_I'll find him later._

He looked around for Cas again, but he was no where to be seen. Instead, he walked over to Sammy, who looked as gloomy as he had when he went through his emo faze.

"Why the long face Sammy? Its my birthday, there's a rocking party in my honor, and there's booze." Dean said jokingly.

Sam gave him a tired look. "You know exactly why I'm like this Dean." His face turned somber and his eyes darkened. "Have you told Cas?"

Just like that, everything he had been trying to not think about rushed back in.

Cancer. 12 months. Cas. Leaving. Two Days.

In two days he would be leaving Cas for good. He would be leaving because he can't be responsible for the pain Cas would go through when he found out Dean only had a year left.

Dean grew somber quick.

"I,uh,no. No I haven't." Dean didn't know what to say. He had to think quick. "But, uh, I'm telling him tonight."

He knew what he would do now.

Cas was leaving for the Novak Family Gathering in two days so he would leave then. He couldn't let Sam stay either. Cas would find out and Dean would've left for no reason.

On Monday morning, after Cas left for San Diego, he would leave without a word, ditch all his contacts, and leave his town in the rear view mirror of his Impala. It wasn't the greatest but at least it was something. 

"Uh, Dean." The sound of Sam's voice got him out of his thoughts.

"What, Sam." He snapped.

Sam merely looked at him before looking back at the stage.

Wondering what the hell Sammy was looking at, he turned around.

He didn't know if what he was seeing was correct because there was no way in hell Cas was standing on the stage with a microphone in hand.

It just wasn't possible. Cas was afraid of big crowds. Of singing in front of them. And it looked like he still was by the terrified look on his face.

He was speechless.

Cas stepped forward and the music came to an end.

"Hello, everyone." Cas said into the microphone. "I want to thank you so much for being here today, for helping me celebrate someone special today."

Everyone smiled and looked towards Dean. Dean started to walk towards the front of the stage. People parted the way as he stood in the front, surrounded by his friends and family.

" I wanted to wish you a very happy birthday Dean. I love you so much." Cas said, a huge grin on his face as he looked at Dean and Dean alone.

When they looked into each others eyes, it was as if they were in a different world. One where they was no one else but them two. They got lost in it again until Gabriel cleared his throat from behind Cas.

Cas looked up and laughed nervously as his face reddened.

"Uh, yeah. This one goes out to Dean and our seven year anniversary." Cas said into the microphone before turning around and motioning the band to start.

Dean was dumb struck. He had no idea what was going on.

People looked at him and congratulated him on their anniversary but he heard nothing as the song began to play.

_That fucking adorable sap, I swear to god._

Then Cas sang into the microphone.

"Wise men say,

Only fools rush in,"

Cas's voice was loud and beautiful. Dean couldn't take his eyes off him as he sang for Dean.

"But I can't help

Falling in love with you."

That's right. Cas was singing only for Dean because at that moment there was no one else in that cave. Only them.

Dean knew the song. Of course he did. It was playing the first time he met Cas, and that little sap knew it.

"Like a river flows

Surely to the sea,

Darling so it goes,"

Dean was so proud of Cas. He had gotten over his fear of singing in front of people for Dean. _For Dean._

"Some things

Were meant to be."

 _Damn right they were. Me and Cas were meant to be. Nothing in the world would stop us from being together_.

Something ticked at the back of his mind when he though that, but he couldn't chase after it. He was too focused on Cas.

"For I can't help

Falling in love

With

You"

Cas looked at Dean for the entire song. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes i did do the thing *smiles*


	9. Castiel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING FOR SHITTY SONG WRITING: Due to stuff, the song came out a bit ugh, i do have plans on rewrtiting the song from this chapter so dont get too attached to it!

When Cas had finished his song, he had gotten off the stage and straight into Dean's arms.

Cas had been nervous and scared the whole time before he sang, afraid that Dean wouldn't like it, afraid that Dean wouldn't enjoy it, but apparently he was wrong.

Dean loved it.

"Oh my fucking God, Cas, I seriously have no idea how in hell I ended up with an angel like you." Dean said into Cas's neck. Dean had Cas in a tight embrace, his arms tightly surrounding the man. 

Cas laughed a little as he fit his head on Dean's shoulder. " I was the one who gripped you tight and raised you from boredom." He felt Dean grin at that and then Dean's mouth was trailing kisses along his neck.

His mouth found its way to Cas's and they were soon lost in their own world. Hands were in hair, pulling, mouths were on each other, wandering hands found their way under shirts.

When Cas finally regained some sense, he pulled away from Dean's mouth but Dean just moved onto his neck.

"Dean, no, stop." He managed. Cas was breathing hard now. "Were in public, we ca-can't, be doing this."

Dean stopped and looked at Cas in the eyes. "Angel, you did all of this for me, took me to all those amazing places and on top of that you just sang the song that was playing when we first met in front of a crowd, and you don't expect me to have you right here and now?"

Cas laughed at his boyfriend's face of desperation. "I'm just saying wait until we get home." He booped Dean on the nose and twirled away.

"Dammit it Cas." He heard Dean grumble as he walked away.

He laughed silently as he made his way towards Gabriel who was stuffing his face with candy at the food bar.

"Hi, Gabriel." He said, a smile on his face.

"Heyya, Cassie. So how's it going?" Gabriel said brightly, barely looking up from the candy.

"Its going OK. Dean seems to be enjoying the party." Cas told him.

Gabriel finally looked up and he cocked an eyebrow at Cas.

"You're not going to get cold feet now, are you baby bro?" Gabriel asked him.

Cas looked up at him with an unreadable expression. 

"Oh, no. No. Nooo, Cassie." Gabriel said, a pained look on his face.

Cas looked down. "I didn't even say anything." He mumbled.

"Yeah, but you have that I'm-not-sure-if-its-the-right-thing look on your face." Gabriel countered.

Cas rolled his eyes. "I'm not getting cold feet, its just," Cas stopped. "Its just I'm afraid of Dean's reaction."

Gabriel laughed at the dejected look on his brothers face and Cas glared at him.

"Oh god, I'm- I'm sorry , its just, are you, are you kidding right now?" Gabriel said in between laughs.

"What do-" Cas starts before he was cut off my Balthazar.

"Hey Gabe, Cassie, were up in five." He told them and ran back towards the stage.

"Let's go, baby bro." Gabriel said before running after Balthazar.

Cas sighed before chasing after them.

*

For the next hour and a half, Cas and his family spent the time singing and playing songs for the crowd.

The family had been practicing for months together, ever since Cas decided what he wanted to do for Dean's birthday. They spent months seeing what would sound good, making sure Cas got over his fear, and synchronizing lyrics with music.

Anna, Gabriel, Balthazar, and Cas had always been the rebels of the family. They loved to play music, but the rest of their brothers and sisters always shamed them for it.When they grew up, they decided to go after their dreams and went to a school of music. After seeing his brothers and sister do as they did, Cas felt inspired and wanted to do the same, searching for a school to learn piano and singing. Dean had been the one who gave him the last shove into applying for a school and he got in. Luckily for them, it had been close by to their high school, so they would still see each other. A few years later, Cas had gotten his diploma in Music. He was still searching for a record producer.

There was a new addition to their family band. Castiel's friend, the bartender from the night Dean and Castiel met, Hannah. After that night, Hannah had seen how interested Cas had been in the green-eyed boy so she stopped chasing after Castiel, being the well-mannered girl she was. If you asked anyone though, they would say she was still crushing on him. She had gone back home to Washington State a week after that night, so no one knew that they had become friends. She was the only person who knew about Cas's little crush on Dean. She actually returned on a flight a few months ago and they met up again, their friendship rekindling. After a long day of talking and socializing, he casually mentioned needing a female singer for a performance. She jumped at the chance to spend more time with him and instantly told him she could do it. After that, she had tried out for the band and got in. She had been the back up vocals ever since.

Cas's eyes always stayed on Dean as a lifeline when they played covers of popular songs at the beginning. The crowd absolutely _loved_ them, and soon Cas loosened up and let himself have fun. He started to smile more and dance around the stage, making the crowd go even wilder. He was having the time of his life.

They took a five minute break, and Cas went to the back of the stage.

He was hyperventilating.

He was sweaty and his stomach was in knots.

He felt like he was going to throw up at any moment.

_God, I can't do this, I can't do this, I can't do this._

After the break, Cas was going to do something he had never done before.

He was going to sing one of his songs. One that he wrote. His own lyrics. It was going to be a special song. One only meant for Dean.

And Cas was freaking the fuck out because _fuck, what if of Dean doesn't like it? What if he's embarrassed by the attention? What if it's too corny or sappy?_

He patted his pocket and felt the small bulged item.

He grew even more nervous as he knew what was coming.

_Crap. Crapcarapcrapcrapcrap._

When Gabriel finally came to look for him, he found Castiel sitting with his knees brought up in corner of the backstage.

"Cas?" He asked silently, taking in the sight of his trembling brother.

"I-I can't do it, Gabe." Cas replied, voice shaky.

That's when they both knew just how bad Castiel was. He had never called Gabriel _Gabe_ in his life after he turned five and said it was childish.

Gabriel sat down next to Cas and wrapped him up in a hug.

Cas was shaking with nervousness, his stomach doing backflips.

"Hey, hey. Shhh." Gabriel comforted. "Its going to be OK Cassie." Gabriel rested his head on Cas's and gave him a quick peck at the top of his head.

Cas just stayed silent.

"You're going to be amazing out there. And Dean is going to absolutely love it. I mean, did you see the guy when you sang Cant Help Falling to him? That boy's panties dropped." Gabriel went on, a small smile on his face.

Cas let out a laugh. He straightened up and looked at Gabriel.

"It's just," Cas stopped for a second. "I don't know how he'll react. The lyrics are very personal and I know he's not one for chick-flick moments-" Cas was cut off by Gabriel's loud laugh.

"Not one for chick-flick moments?" Gabriel laughed again. "Cassie, that Dean-o is a walking chick-flick. He does more chick-flick moments than an actual chick-flick." He laughed again. "Stop worrying and get up there. We've been practicing this for months and that means I've had many hours without candy so you owe me one." He looked pointedly at Cas, who just shrugged.

"I had to take away your candy! You get all hyper when you eat it and I needed you for practice!" Cas fought back.

Gabriel smiled as he saw his baby brother stop shaking.

"OK, ok. Now let's get up there." Gabriel told him as he stood up.

Cas breathed in and held his breath. He stood up quietly and let it rush out.

"Ok. Let's do this." He said, a determined look on his face.

Gabriel smiled. He put his hand on Cas's shoulder and led him to the stage.

"Yes. Let's do this."

*

Cas walked out into the stage, his nerves in a bundle. He felt white hot everywhere, his head swimming.

_Breathe. I can do this. I can do this._

_Do it for Dean. Do it for Dean. Breathe._

He smiled nervously as he stepped up to the microphone. He looked over to Hannah, who grinned widely to comfort him. He smiled back, feeling a bit better.

He looked back at the crowd, now completely dark as the bright lights shone on him. Only the front row was visible, and Dean stood there, looking up at Cas. He grinned and took the microphone in his hands.

"Hello again!" He said, and before he could continue, the crowd exploded into cheers. Cas was confused at this. He just said hello?

"Uh, ok. This next song is a very special one." He started. "It is a song specially made for someone." he looked directly at Dean, and saw the curious smile on the man's face. 

Castiel didn't know how long he could stall, but he went on.

"This is a song, written by the band. Music by them. Lyrics by, uh, me." Cas stared into the darkness, terrified of their reaction.

But the crowd just went wilder, loving the idea.

"Yeah. So, uh, here we go." Cas said. He turned back and motioned towards his family, then turned back to look at Hannah. He nodded at her and she nodded back, smiling widely. She mouthed an excited "You got this!" as she grabbed the mic in front of her, her short black hair swinging lightly.

Cas heard the music begin and he settled into the comfortable rhythm. He closed his eyes and felt the music. He breathed in as the notes flew through him, calming every nerve. When his cue came up, he began the song, his eyes still closed.

 

 

"You,

And the way that time stops,

Whenever you're near,

Whenever you smile or do what you do.

You,

And the way that I melt,

Whenever you hold me,

Whenever you look at me and say

You are my everything, oh

You are my everything, oh.

And I will never

No, no, no, never

Leave

You

Alone,

Because 

You are my everything, oh.

You are my everything, ooh.

And I will never

No, no, no never

Stop

Loving

You.

And that's a promise."

Cas opened his eyes and looked into the darkness, which wasn't quite dark anymore. People were waving their phone's flashlights like candles. It was quiet. When he looked into the front row, he saw people smiling and grinning like crazy, moving slowly with the music.

He smiled and started again.

"You,

And the way I can't breathe,

When your eyes are on me,

When you lift me up and help me fly

You

And the way the stars shine

Whenever you laugh

Whenever I look at you and say

You are my everything, oh.

You are my everything , ooh.

And I will never

No,no,no never,

Leave

You

Alone,

Because,

You are my everything, oh.

You are my everything, ooh

And I will never

No,no,no never

Stop

Loving

You.

And that's a promise."

Cas had lost his nerves. He was staring up at the audience and smiling. The music flew through him, making him feel weightless.

He stared at Dean and kneeled down to hold out a hand, and invitation to come on stage. Dean took it instantly and climbed up on stage with Cas. Castiel could see how Dean's  eyes were pink and watery. Cas held Dean's hand as he sang to him, and only him.

"I never believed,

In true love, 

Fairy tales, its all it was

But now I see you,

And I know its true, because,

You are my everything, oh.

You are my everything, ooh.

And I will never

No, no, no never,

Leave

You

Alone,

Because

You are my everything, oh.

You are my everything, ooh.

And I will never

No, no, no never,

Stop

Loving

You," Cas let go of Dean's hand.

"Stop

Loving

You," He slowly reached into his coat pocket.

"Stop," Cas kneeled down on one knee.

"Loving," He held a small black box in his right hand.

"You." Cas opened the box revealing a glimmering silver ring. Dean's eyes grew wide and watery as his hands flew up to his mouth.

The music died down as the song ended and Cas spoke into the microphone.

"Dean Winchester," he said never taking his eyes off Dean. "Will you marry me?"


	10. Dean

The moment he saw Cas up on the stage again, Dean knew he would not stop smiling the entire show.

He was still really confused about Hannah being the backup singer, but well, Cas was with him. Surely she let go of her stupid crush.

 Cas was _his_.

He drank beer and danced along to the songs Cas was singing. No matter what, he was always at the front, looking up at Cas. It was truly amazing seeing him up there, free of fear and nervousness, just having fun and moving so freely as if he belonged there. Dean knew he did.

Cas belonged on a stage, where all eyes were on him. Even if Dean wants to be selfish and keep Cas's amazingness to himself, he knows where he truly belongs.

And seeing Cas up there proves his point.

When the five minute interval comes up, the only thing running through his mind are Cas and kissing him senseless, but he didn't come off the stage.

"Hey Balth, where's Cas?" He asked when he finally made it to the side of the stage.

"Uh, probably backstage. Gabe went to look for him I think." Balthazar told him, glancing at the curtains behind them.

"Oh, OK. Can, can I go see him or...?" Dean asked. He really needed to see Cas. Dean was starting to think that after everything so far, he might not be able to wait until they get home.

"Sorry, Dean-o. You have me confused with the other angel, you know the one who's in love with you?" Balthazar threw him a smirk. "I'm not letting you on stage unless you're a band member. Rules."

Dean fought the urge to roll his eyes and lost. He stepped off and walked back to the front of the stage, knowing by the dimming of the lights that the show was about to start.

Dean smiled wildly, he was ready for more of Cas's angelic voice.

When the lights went out in the audience completely, Dean knows its time for the show. Cas and Gabe show up from behind the curtain, and the crowd goes wild. Dean can't blame them, just seeing Cas makes him want to yell out praise.

But something's wrong. Cas's face is scrunched in worry and his eyes are unfocused. He looks terrified to say the least, but didn't he get over his fear in the show before?

When Cas finally spoke into the microphone, Dean understood. And _,oh god_ , if his heart wasn't about to jump out of his chest.

Cas was going to sing one of the songs he _wrote_. The ones he doesn't show anyone, not even Dean. And it was specially for him.

For **Dean**.

Dean didn't know how he to grin even wider but he did. And then Cas started singing.

"You

And the way that time stops,

Whenever you're near," Cas's eyes were closed, but he looked a lot calmer than before.

The lyrics hit Dean with a stunning force. He knew he would never forget them, no matter what.

Dean got lost in the music, in the sound of Cas's voice, in the lyrics.

And then Cas was pulling him up onto the stage. Cas looked I to his eyes and once again sang only to him. Dean his eyes were watery and he knew he would start crying – in front of a damn crowd- but he didn't care. Not when Cas was-

Wait. What is he doing?

Cas let go of Dean's hand and he was confused but the words of the song calmed him.

He saw when Cas reached into his pocket. The same one Dean saw Cas putting something right before they left to the Roadhouse.

What Cas did next put his thoughts on standby and he couldn't think.

Cas had one hand holding the microphone, still singing, but the other...

Cas kneeled down on one knee and Dean couldn't breathe. In his right hand, Cas held a small black box.

Dean felt dizzy. He didn't have control of his body anymore and his knees were starting to wobble.

To make matters worse, the song finished and Cas held the box open- _holy FUCK IT'S A FUCKING, IT'S A FUCKING, HOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT, OH MY GOD, FUCK, CRAP, OH GOD IT'S A, IT'S A, HOLY SHIT._

Cas spoke and Dean's world stopped moving.

Cas's blue eyes were on his and he looked nervous. Those goddamn eyes of his were the only thing keeping him upright. 

"Dean Winchester," Cas said, and Dean let out a small gasp. "Will you marry me?"

_..._

His brain blanched. He could think of nothing but _Cas, Yes, Cas, Yes, CAS FUCK YES_.

When he brought down his hand from his mouth - _when the hell did that happen? -_ he stared at Cas. He felt a lonely tear roll down his face.

When his brain finally caught up to what was happening, he grinned. Cas was still nervous, but when Dean nodded his head vigorously, it looked like it would snap off, Cas looked relieved.

Dean finally found his voice.

"Holy crap. Holy crap. YES YES FUCK YES YES I WILL MARRY YOU HOLY SHIT YES YES YES YES!" Dean threw his arms around Cas's neck and Cas stood up.

Neither noticed the crowd go completely _insane_.

Dean hugged Cas close and didn't let him go as the tears flowed down his cheeks. He honestly didn't give a shit whether people saw him.

When they finally broke apart, Dean looked at Cas, who was just as teary as Dean.

Cas stepped away and held the silver ring in his fingers. He grabbed Dean's hand tenderly, and placed the glimmering ring on his fourth finger. Dean look at it and noticed the three small blue jewels on the side, making a straight line.

Cas saw as Dean noticed the diamonds, and grinned brightly. 

"Mine has green ones." Cas whispered softly in Dean's ear. Dean shivered.

He finally looked up and saw the crowd. They were absolutely ballistic. They were shouting and yelling and many were videotaping and everything was chaos.

Dean turned and was attacked by Balthazar, Anna, Gabriel, and Hannah, all wanting to congratulate the two. 

It was the best night of his life, at least it was until he saw Sammy. 

Sam was at the corner of the stage, looking up at them with his hand covering his mouth. His brown hair was swept back, one hand holding it in place. And then Dean looked at his face. 

Sam was in tears. 

And Dean knew why, he knew  that Sammy's tears weren't ones of happiness like everyone else. 

Sam was crying because he knew the engagement wouldn't last long, Dean's life would end before they could do anything. 

Dean frowned, his thoughts racing, trying to escape the trap that was his brain. 

He felt an arm wrap around his waist and he jumped. Cas's voice was husky in his ear, and Dean shivered. 

"So, how about we take a ride home early now?" 

Dean grinned and turned, wrapping his arms around Cas's neck. 

"I'd say lets go now before we give these people a real show." Dean said, his hands reaching up into Cas's hair, tugging slightly. 

Cas bit his lip, and kissed Dean forcefully right in front of everyone. 

"Yeah, lets go _now_."  Dean grabbed Cas's hand and dragged him out of the stage and the crowd. People were sad that they were leaving, but the two paid no attention. 

Those two were on a mission. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys liked it!


End file.
